The Primrose Path
by CobaltForge
Summary: People have always called me the Flower Master of Four Seasons. They have always held respect for me, but that doesn't mean they like me. Of course, I've never minded, really. Where people haven't been in my life, there were flowers to fill the hole. Flowers, the things that never fail to bring me joy. Or at least, they never did...
1. Chapter 1: Lover of Flowers

The Human Village.

A bustling little town, with what seemed to be a collective love for life.

It's morning. People walk from here to there, carrying groceries or goodies. Children play in the streets, before making their way to the schoolhouse near the center of the village. A man is pulling a cart full of rice to a marketplace. A couple sits outside the teahouse, having a chat.

I walk straight through the center of the north road into the village.

People naturally moved out of the way for me. They respect me, but that doesn't translate to appreciation. How they felt about me was rather the opposite of that, actually. They minded themselves around me out of fear, and nothing more.

I don't concern myself with their opinion of me. It's much too troublesome to be worried about how others think. What matters is how they act.

As per my usual routine, I make my way to the flower shop, not far from the town square. The shopkeeper knows me, and I know him - a fine gentleman. He too seems afraid of me, but he's decent at concealing it.

I've fallen into habit. Every time I enter the store, I give the man behind the desk the same greeting, he responds in turn. I comment on the flowers in his shop, he provides details. I make some purchase, or sell my own flowers, thank him, and leave.

Today is no different. We are familiar with each other, despite never sharing anything about each other. A silent acquaintance. Do I care about him? Perhaps, in the sense that he supplies and I purchase and vice versa, and anything happening to him breaks my routine. That is the extent of it, though. I know he wants nothing to do with me; he may not say it, but it's evident.

Nobody does.

That's what the flowers are for.

The ephemeral splendor of a blossom. The gentle swaying in the wind. The fragrance of a whole field of the beauties, gallantly standing under the sun. The dedication required to maintain them was well worth it to see these qualities. I can manipulate them, giving them all they need to grow in an instant, and they do. It's not a deadly or strategic ability like those of others in Gensokyo, but it's mine. _Flowers_ are mine.

It's my love, my work, my meaning.

And it's better than anything a human could give me.

* * *

I've tried. Oh, how I've tried to get them to understand. When I first entered the village, guards attempted to send me the way I came. They yelled, they panicked, they fought, they lost.

It was boring. Not a one was any challenge. I didn't want to damage the place I bought flowers from, but I also couldn't let them inconvenience me so.

They sent the teacher after me. What's her name… Keine, I believe? She offered more difficulty. But ultimately, she couldn't compare either. They misunderstood me, my intentions. If I really wanted to, I could raze the village in an instant.

What good would that do me?

I don't want people to like me, I don't want them to accept me. I'm just here for the flower shop. That's not something I'd like to destroy, not of my own accord.

They can think what they like, though - as long as they don't get in my way. They have their thoughts, I have delicate beauties.

The only ones who aren't afraid are the children who don't know of me yet. They see me, they recognize a calming aura, they can smell the sweet scent of nature on me. Their parents haven't told them to avoid me, and so they are drawn to me like a butterfly to a honeysuckle.

They are nice, in their own way. I have to be careful not to instill fear in them. I do all I can, I treat them with kindness. I may play with them, or show them some of my purchases. I speak with them. At least, until someone notices, and desperately tries to get them to flee.

Of course, they do, leaving me alone.

It's fine, though, I'm not worried about it. I forget the children's faces as soon as I'm back at the Garden, anyways. You live long enough, and they all blend together.

Over time, they'll learn more about me from one place or another. All of the stories say I'm extremely powerful, it seems. I hear whispers when I'm in town.

"...Did you hear what she did to..."

"...She's here! Let's go somewhere else..."

"...It's her. The monster…"

I'm no monster, you don't have to be scared, I did nothing to whomever.

But I don't say that. I let my smile do the talking; a smile says more than words ever will. If I want fear, I'll act accordingly. An easy smile communicates that I hear what they say, and that I won't hurt them for it.

Perhaps they see it as an devilish grin. But it is the simplest of pleasantries, a show of kindness, that I have no ill intentions, that I'm not here for their head. If they fail to see that, then it is not worth trying to convince them otherwise.

* * *

Today, I decide to visit the shrine. Reimu's not like the other humans. She doesn't seem to harbor any particular disdain for _me_. What she shows is the same thing she shows everyone - the same level of annoyance, as if someone's presence is always a bother to her.

She speaks harshly and without pause, but that's true for all recipients of her speech. That's how I know she doesn't hate me like the people in the village. She treats me the same.

I always walk up the stairs to the shrine. It's incredibly rude to fly in, in my opinion. The least one can do is show some respect at the home of another.

Reimu is an interesting human. The town is bustling, but the shrine never so. She's almost always lying down within, or occasionally sweeping the grounds. It's like she doesn't know what it means to be active. And yet, whenever an incident comes around, she's always so hyper. I used to call this shameful behavior, but now I see that she is not so different to me; she prefers quiet to action, but fights when she has to. Still, she shouldn't shirk her duties so.

She doesn't seem to be on the grounds anywhere, so I assume she's still sleeping inside. It is morning still, after all.

While I don't visit terribly often, I do have a tendency to drop a coin or two in the donation box. I know she doesn't get much, and I don't have much to offer myself. But she's a human, she can't fend for herself like I can. She needs it more than me.

I slip one in, noting that the sound the coin makes when it hits the bottom isn't that of a coin hitting others.

This sound is evidently one of the more exciting sensations in Reimu's life. It never fails to draw her out of the shrine, no matter what she's doing. I may smell something cooking within, and she may come out at a moment's notice with an apron on. Other times, she might rush out barely awake with sleepwear on, looking like she can't even hold herself up.

She's fully dressed in her shrine maiden uniform when she emerges, looking fully awake, oddly enough. She looks at me, my warm smile. She knows my habit, and she invites me in.

"Want some tea, Yuuka? I've already got some prepared."

"Oh? You do? You weren't expecting me, were you?"

Reimu shakes her head and gestures to two other people, who are sitting down.

One, I knew well. It was Marisa Kirisame, the flamboyant witch, rather easygoing. Some might confuse this for childish behavior, but she's really grown up since I first met her. She's a powerful magician in her own right, but she often resorts to stealing spells, including my own, rather than producing her own magic.

The other was a face I had not seen in a long time. I'd almost forgotten she even existed; it must have been the very beginning of Gensokyo when I last spoke with her, some hundred plus years ago. She was hard at work back then, helping to set it all up.

Pink hair, bandaged arm, broken shackle, and of course, the large rose she always wears. Kasen Ibaraki.

"Yuuka?" she says in shock.

"It has been awhile, hasn't it, Kasen? You must have a lot more time on your hands now, to be enjoying tea with the shrine maiden."

Kasen shoots a cold glance at me. I get the feeling she doesn't really want to be talked about much, and her past certainly seems to be something she loathes others bringing up. She had always preferred to stay out of the spotlight, after all. So, I decide I'll respect her wishes.

Her face quickly changes to a more lighthearted expression. "Haha, you're right. Mmm, this does bring back memories, of that first time we met."

Reimu looks rather surprised. "You two have met?"

"I _am_ a hermit, I've been around for a long time. It would be more impressive if I hadn't yet met the well-known flower youkai."

I giggle at her comment about time. "Have I got you beat in terms of longevity? I've been told before that I've lived for far too long, after all. By the yama, no less! But I've lost track of time myself, so I can't say for certain."

I finally take a seat beside Kasen, opposite Marisa and Reimu. Reimu pours some tea for me, and speaks again.

"Thank you for donating, Yuuka. It really is nice."

Marisa starts laughing somewhat obnoxiously. "Your only requisite for being nice to someone is them donating to you, huh?"

Reimu feels the need to defend herself. "Marisa, you're constantly bothering me. You too, Kasen. So when Yuuka comes in here all polite and donates, of course I'm going to treat her better!"

"Maybe if you were actually nice to everyone in the first place, or, I don't know, performed any of your regular duties as shrine maiden, you would get more donations."

"Do you come here to help me or yell at me, Kasen?"

"To yell at you, when you aren't doing your job."

Reimu let out a sigh of defeat. I was mildly entertained by the back-and-forth banter. There is a certain charm to simple people like Reimu that I enjoy. Kasen is more complicated, but still nice to speak with. Marisa… can only be described as _Marisa_. For all the wonders of flowers, there are some holes they can't fill, I think. They do lack a little in the social aspect.

I change the topic. "So what have you been up to recently, Miss Hakurei?"

"You know," Reimu says, making a gesture of indifference, "the usual. Solving incidents, and then being bored. I think I saw you just this past one. I was investigating at the Garden of the Sun."

"Mmm." I take a sip of tea. "Yes. I was going to shoot you down, but you were just looking out over the fields, and then fought some nuisance fairies. It seemed to me you appreciated the splendor of the Garden and fought to defend it. You too, Marisa."

"That ain't what happened at all! I couldn't give less of a crap what happens to your flowers. It's the fairies I was after!"

"So you're saying I should have ended your little incident solving adventure right there?" I give off a smug expression. Reimu and Marisa know the extent of my abilities. While they aren't afraid of me like the villagers, they do avoid confronting me when possible. That's likely for the best; I prefer to be left alone with my precious flowers, anyways.

"Too late now," Reimu was grumbling.

I chuckle lightly at that. While I maintain an image of refined elegance, it is always nice to tease those you are familiar with. And that's not many people, in my case.

Kasen was now standing up. "I believe I will be going home now, as I have other matters to attend to. Take care, you three."

She walks over to the door, looks back and smiles mysteriously, and leaves.

"I can't figure her out," Reimu sighs.

"I haven't either," I say, thinking about past encounters.

Kasen and I have spoken before. The first time, it turned sour rather quickly. She felt I was getting in her way, she had important matters to attend to, etcetera… I was just trying to be pleasant. "Other matters" is always her excuse, it seems, to drop out of a conversation at any time. But I wasn't having it, then.

So we fought, nearly to a standstill. Ultimately, I emerged victorious, though. She's gotten a lot more respectful since then, and I think I have done the same towards her as well.

I think about this, when Reimu spontaneously jolts up from her seat.

"Another donation!"

I didn't hear anything. She must have finely attuned ears. Curious, I decide to follow her as she checks to see who it is.

Marisa remains seated with a disinterested look. "I don't really care who it is. Reimu'll either invite them in or tell me all about it."

I pause before even standing up all the way, and look at Marisa. "You may be right. But I think I'll take a look anyways."

I hear a bit of what Reimu is talking about with the person outside. It's not a voice I know of, but then again, that doesn't mean it's a random nobody. Something about writing a book…?

I go out through the door and assume a position next to Reimu, who doesn't notice, apparently. It's only when she sees the stupefied look on the donator's face that she figures it out.

The visitor is a fairly small girl with purple hair, wearing traditional clothes in yellow, green, and red. She doesn't look very old, but I can't say for sure - I certainly look much younger than I am. Despite appearances, I can feel an aura of maturity, of sorts.

She starts stuttering out a response. "I-I think I sh-should-d go…"

"Oh my, it looks like I have a poor reputation. Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. I was just enjoying some of Reimu's tea inside." Trying to salvage this interaction, I give her a very warm smile. You have nothing to be afraid of, dear, it says wordlessly.

It doesn't look like that comforted her very much. Naturally, my reputation of power precedes me. Unfortunately, nothing else about me is important. But she couldn't know much more about me than any other villager; she must be fearful by nature.

Reimu stifles a giggle, from the looks of it. "Yuuka, this is Hieda no Akyuu. She may not look it, but she's a very influential person. She's the writer of the _Perfect Memento in Strict Sense_ \- a book detailing all of the important residents of Gensokyo, their habits, what to be careful of when interacting with them, and so on. So, she's heard a lot about you, and has to trust her sources, not having met you first hand. Also, cut it out with that smile. It looks more sadistic than kind, you know."

"Aww, what happened to the pleasant attitude you had with me before, Reimu?" I tease the shrine maiden.

"I can only be nice to one person at a time, any more is too much. That person is always the most recent donator, who in this case, is Akyuu."

I force a pouting look, trying to appear as unthreatening as possible for the cute little "Akyuu" before me. She seems to be accepting that I'm not going to attack her.

"Alright," I say with an innocent tone, "I'll head back in and continue with the tea. How about you join us, miss?" Looking at Akyuu again, she stares blankly at me before slowly nodding.

"Wonderful~"

I walk back into the shrine and take my former seat. Reimu sits where she was, as well, and Akyuu follows suit in where Kasen was.

Reimu asks Akyuu a question, and pours her some tea. "Oh yeah. How'd you even get here, Akyuu, and why come? You don't normally go out of the village, it's dangerous."

She nods. "I asked Keine to escort me. I need to speak with you on business."

Reimu sighs in exasperation. "I never look forward to this. Alright, where do we need to pick up?"

Marisa sees the look of slight confusion on my face and explains, "Yeah, Akyuu comes over every once in awhile to make an update to her book. She needs to keep track of all the new faces in Gensokyo, so she talks to Reimu as a source, since she's fought most of 'em." She then turns to Reimu and Akyuu with a look of interest.

Those two are already deep in conversation, and Marisa is listening intently, adding in snippets of information to fill in gaps in Reimu's accounts. I'm pleased Akyuu has overcome her fear, or is at least ignoring it, but now nobody is paying any mind to me or my existence; it makes sense though, I don't really keep up with the goings-on in Gensokyo, so I have nothing to add.

I suppose it's time for me to leave, then.

I get up and make my way for the door. I look back at the other three, all still very invested in their conversation, and none of them seem to notice or acknowledge my exit.

That's quite alright. I don't belong with humans, and they certainly don't want to associate with me.

Not that I'm upset by that. That's how it's been for hundreds of years. That's how it always will be, and rightfully so. Humans and youkai are instilled with the knowledge that the other kind is afraid of them, despises them, hunts them. But when they can't kill something they hate or fear, they tend to stay as far away as possible. It's a law of life in Gensokyo, and it's my lifestyle.

I would go so far as to say that I love it - my lifestyle, that is. It will always bring me pleasure. It's simple, it's peaceful, it's surrounded by the thing I love most, flowers.

And I don't care if people avoid me for it. I don't have power over what people do, I can't make them like me. I've come to terms with the fact that people will not _want_ to like me.


	2. Chapter 2: Dolls and Blossoms

Flowers, flowers, all around.

The vast majority are the sunflowers, which rank among my personal favorites.

That's not all there is to the Garden of the Sun, but it is the prominent middle section that everyone recognizes. Around the large section of sunflowers are other, smaller fields of various flowers, planted in simple patterns.

The whole place is very well maintained, if I do say so myself. It's what I take the most pride in. It's the culmination of my love for the flora.

Of course, I don't tolerate disturbances to it. The most common offenders are fairies. Sometimes, they act as pollinators, which is excellent for the health of the flowers, but most of the time, they are pests who try to pick the blooms or otherwise bring harm to them.

Every once in awhile, a human from the village will wander through here. I typically shoo them off with magic; not aimed at them, really, just a few centimeters away from their face. Simply a warning, although threatening enough that it seems like I'm actually going to attack. They seem to misconstrue the meaning, though; they think I'm actually trying to hit them, and miss on accident.

That's silly. If I really wanted a target dead, I wouldn't miss.

It's been awfully quiet today. I haven't even heard a fairy incessantly shrieking as it plays with a friend. I do, however, hear a soft humming, a song, coming from somewhere to my right.

I wonder what poor fool I need to drive off today? Another insolent human?

Let's see… blonde hair. Not Marisa, though, this one doesn't have an obnoxious hat on. She's looking out over the flowers, with her eyes closed. It seems as if she's enjoying the warmth of the sun, which I can appreciate. Alright, no magic - I'll talk it out this time. Someone who knows how to savor nature doesn't deserve savagery.

What's she got there? A doll? She's clutching it tightly as she continues to hum the song.

Something about her feels familiar, but I can't place it. Have I seen her before? Why would I remember this girl in particular? Surely I've met hundreds of blonde-haired girls before, what sets this one apart?

If I can't remember, I'll ask.

I stroll up to her leisurely, and still she doesn't see. That song that comes from her, it's so sweet. It's filled with a tender emotion, like reminiscing over the past, but with a sad tone. It's a nice little tune, fit for a dream or vision of a past worth remembering, but one that has vanished.

"Excuse me," I murmur to the girl, standing just an arm's length away, "but who might you be?"

"Oh. Sorry."

Hm. She doesn't seem much for conversation.

"I'm Alice Margatroid. I was just on my way back to my house in the Forest of Magic when… wait. You're… Yuuka, right?"

Alice, hm? I can't place it, but that name…

"Oh, sorry to intrude on your garden… I should be going, shouldn't I?"

She sounds timid, or perhaps just reserved. I'm too curious to let her go so easily, though.

"Hold on for a moment, if you would. I think I know you, and if your face is telling the truth, then you know me too. But from where…?"

Alice is already trying to walk away, but she stops moving. She doesn't even turn back. She just turns her head to a profile view, from my, perspective, and looks down.

She takes an audible breath, like an exasperated sigh. "Of course you wouldn't remember me. I suppose you don't really care at all, do you?"

I'm taken aback. Timid wasn't the right word, that much is certain. She now seems bothered, but not really angry. Perhaps she just doesn't respond well to social situations?

"If you actually want to know…"

"I do."

"...You came into Makai a while ago, and stomped your way through so many people's homes - my home - with not even a care. I tried to protect it, but you swatted me aside! Then you fought Lady Shinki and…!"

She abruptly stops and turns, looks at me with an odd expression. I'm simply listening to her story, smiling - it's bringing back memories of an event I had forgot happened. That's what is confusing her, likely. The smile, I mean.

"I remember now. That was before Spell Cards, as I recall it. I had a destructive battle with that Shinki. She called me a human. Honestly, the nerve! ...But, as I was saying, there were no Spell Cards, so we used… rather destructive magic. I remember much of the place getting hit with our magic, and there was considerable damage."

Alice doesn't look very happy to have these memories come back. I have to salvage this conversation somehow, now; I am the one who went and dredged up a clearly painful past to sate my own curiosity. I may enjoy teasing or threatening others, but only as banter. I don't intend to hurt.

"It is… regrettable, my actions. I was uncaring."

Alice isn't listening. "I came back. I wanted to get revenge on you, I was forced out of Makai, my home. I did something I swore I'd never do, used my Grimoire, and you still treated me as beneath you. You again defeated me and left me there. I hated you. You took away Makai. You took away Yumeko. You took away Shinki!"

I've really gone and done it, haven't I?

Alice looks visibly upset now, and just sullenly walks away.

Hm. I don't feel very pleasant, suddenly…

* * *

I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I really don't know what to think. Something about her is different than the villagers. They hate me because I may possibly hurt them, but that's not much of a reason, so I ignore them. But this girl, Alice? I actually hurt her, and she hates me for it. It's an odd sensation, and not one that sits well with me.

I guess I'll apologize, but I don't know where I could actually find her to make amends. She said she lives within the Forest of Magic, but that's not much of a clue. However, I believe I know someone who could help.

Two consecutive days visiting the shrine. It will certainly be odd, I suppose. But unlike yesterday, I'm here on business today. No donations.

Reimu is sweeping the grounds today as I ascend the stairs to her shrine. She does an obvious double take when she first sees me, but composes herself.

"Yuuka, back so soon? I, uhh… don't suppose you have another donation?"

I shake my head.

"What's with that look? I don't think I've ever seen you looking sad."

"I've said and done some unkind things to someone. And I don't mean the usual beating someone in a fight." I pause; I don't really want to dive too deep into it. "Is Marisa here?"

Reimu shakes her head. "Just left. Suika's drunk up on the roof, though."

"Hm. Would you happen to know the way to the home of an Alice Margatroid?"

"Alice? Well, I guess I _could_ show you… but I'm kinda busy right now."

"Don't tell me you'd actually prefer to be sweeping the grounds here than flying around across Gensokyo."

Reimu smirks knowingly. "You got me there. Fine, I guess I'll show you, for a price." Naturally, a money making scheme; I shouldn't have expected anything less from the queen of pocket change. I guess I have a bit to spare, though, so I'll let it slide. "But don't be too slow, you hear? I know you have a tendency to move at a snail's pace."

Reimu doesn't hesitate to leap up off the ground. She doesn't even put her broom away - she just leaves it there, laying on the pathway. And she wonders why she doesn't get many donations! If you aren't going to take pride in your own home, you shouldn't expect to get many visitors. I personally would keep the Garden a little more unruly if it stopped people from trespassing, but that wouldn't stop the fairies, and it would bother me more than anyone else.

Oh, well. I join Reimu in the air. As I rise to her level, she darts off in the direction of the Forest of Magic, and I follow with a sigh.

* * *

Alice's home is a Western styled cottage in a small clearing in the Forest. It's a quaint little place. If one could call a house adorable, this one would qualify.

I don't think the upcoming interaction will be very nice, though. I imagine it will get rather ugly, in fact, despite my best intentions.

I mentally prepare myself for whatever is about to transpire, and knock on the door. After a moment, Alice opens it up, with a pleasant expression.

It melts away just as soon as I lay eyes on it and she lays eyes on me, though.

She quietly beckons me in. "...Yes, yes. Please, make yourself at home…"

She gestures to a cushioned seat, while she takes a seat in another, all-wooden rocking chair. She's nervously fiddling with a strap on that book she holds. Is that the very same book she used to fight me so long ago? With the "ultimate magic," and all that?

It wasn't as fearsome as she made it out to be, then, but still a massive step up from our first meeting, where she didn't use it and was easily defeated. But if she's grown at all since then, then the magic in that grimoire may actually pose a threat to me. Not that I'd admit that to her.

The house is… somewhat plain. I honestly expected the home of a magician to be much more ornate, or filled with various magical instruments. But, it feels almost empty, with basic furniture.

That, and the magic dolls. They're everywhere, performing menial tasks, like dusting the table in front of me, or washing dishes. Speaking of, there are… a lot of teacups there, being cleaned off.

Was she having a tea party?

I decide to bring it up. I want to work up to an apology naturally, rather than suddenly spitting it out; I need to be friendly, make some small talk, get her to warm up to me a bit.

"So, Alice. I notice there are a lot of teacups being cleaned by the dolls. Did you have someone over recently?"

She looks uncomfortable, shifting ever so slightly in her seat. "No. I don't get visitors very often. The location, and all."

"Then why have you so many out? Don't tell me you've been downing that much tea recently?"

"That's not it, either."

"Oh?"

"You're really going to make me say it, aren't you?"

I nod, with a playful grin. Looks like I'm putting her on the spot, but hopefully she interprets it as friendly teasing. She'll have to get used to it, if I'm going to be speaking with her.

"I was having a tea party, with the dolls…"

"Ah, that makes sense. How did you give them life? They move so fluidly!"

"...No. I control them all."

That's odd. Now why would she…?

"So you made the dolls have tea with you? Were you playing tea party? As in, the kid's game?" I giggle aloud at the thought. A powerful magician, and she plays tea party with dolls like a little five year old? That's ridicu-

"Yes…"

Oh.

The look on her face says it all. I keep hitting the sensitive topics, and this time, I laughed at her for it? This… isn't going how I planned. I guess the slow, friendly approach won't work now. I'll just have to come out and say it, it seems.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to suggest… I'm sorry. For that, and for making you remember a painful past earlier."

Alice looks down at her lap. She's grimacing, she doesn't believe me.

"I was rude about it. I was trying for friendly conversation - both times - and I suppose I messed up. I want to make amends, Alice. I don't like the prospect of causing actual, emotional pain to others. I tease, and I show off my power, I maintain the image of an imposing yet graceful woman. I inspire fear, as youkai do, but I don't actually want people to hate me. I don't want enemies."

She looks up at me again in an accusatory manner. Won't she listen?

"I apologize. It was… uncouth of me…"

"Stop." Alice finally speaks, looking fit to burst, with reddening eyes. "You don't mean it. You don't feel bad for hurting me, for taking them from me!"

"But-"

"You just want to feel better about yourself. You feel like you've done something wrong and it makes _you_ look bad, and you can't have that."

"Alice, I…"

"Don't say a word. Yuuka, you need to leave. Now."

I'm frozen in shock. What happened to the soft-spoken Alice? Have I made it worse? What should I do? I genuinely want her to feel better, because I wronged her… right?

I decide I'm not giving up yet. I plant my feet into the floor and grit my teeth.

"Alice. I genuinely, completely feel terrible for what I said. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to hurt, not by my hand. I want you to realize that."

"Prove it," comes the response, "by _leaving here, now_."

"I can't show you I actually care if I can't talk to you. Please! I'm sorry!"

Alice wordlessly makes a slight motion with her hands. In that instant, a multitude of armed dolls rush up around her, gazing into me with unmoving eyes. Those eyes, each pair carefully painted on by Alice, look ablaze, alive, dancing and livid with wrath.

"Yuuka, don't make me say it again. You're not going to help. I get it, you really want to try. But you know, I've heard about you from Marisa and Reimu, and I've seen you myself. You're uncaring of others. You've shown as much before, in Makai. For what possible reason would you start being kind now?"

"Conscience."

"Then you're only proving my point. Goodbye."

Alice uses her dolls to prod me out of the door, and slams it behind me.

What did I do wrong? I'm kind! She's got it all wrong. She's got _me_ all wrong. I want to help her. I want to make up for my mistake, can't she see? Why is she angry at me? I take time away from my flowers to be with someone, and this is my reward?

Alice must not be thinking straight. It would be obvious to any observer - I'm not being self-centered! She's choosing to ignore me!

These thoughts swirl in my head as I fly the way I came.

I didn't mean to! It's not my fault she didn't understand what I was saying! It's her own fault, her own problem. If she's going to be the one who won't listen to anything others say, she doesn't deserve sympathy.

Flowers would never do that. Flowers are always gentle, always serene, always obedient. Flowers can't get mad at me. People are bothersome. They try to resist me. They won't let me do what I want, they're too caught up in their own selfish ways. They're too stubborn, but flowers? They are yielding, and easy to manipulate. I can control flowers, but not people, and I can't stand it when I'm not in control.


	3. Chapter 3: Change from the Eternal

I'm back at my place of comfort again - the Garden of the Sun. Every day is just as the one before it, spent in the embrace of lovely blossoms.

I've made a recent acquisition, though. The new beauties are the belladonna. A lovely flower, I'd say; it's pitifully misunderstood. Yes, yes, it is deadly poisonous, but everything presents danger in one way or another. I'm far more threatening than a little flower, or so I hope.

But even this isn't enough of a distraction.

My thoughts always return to the events of yesterday, with Alice.

In the heat of the moment, I was quick to blame her for the southward direction of the conversation. To say it was her fault, to lash out at her. But that wasn't justified. I was childish, almost, I refused to believe I might have caused a problem, because I was so absorbed with _myself_.

Alice was right. That was really the heart of it, wasn't it? I'm no philanthropist. I don't go around, helping people through their problems. I'm Yuuka, the terrifying Flower Master of Four Seasons with a penchant for destructive magic. I don't try to make people feel better, it's contrary to who I've always been.

I rue it. If I felt regret yesterday, it is tenfold today at the least.

I see myself in Alice. She's strong, graceful, and from what I can gather, isolationist. She has a passion for dolls just as I have mine for flowers. And I insulted her hobby! What would I do if someone came into the Garden of the Sun and laughed at me for enjoying flowers too much?

I would obliterate them on the spot.

It makes me realize the sheer self-control Alice must have felt in that moment. She had every right to force me out, looking back on it. I was imposing on her, mocking her. I was not behaving well. But she handled it better than I ever could.

What kind of person am I? Nobody with respect for others does that, thinks that. That's not a normal thing to do.

Maybe the villagers have it right after all. Maybe I am a monster. A refined, flower-loving monster.

* * *

I don't feel like doing much today. I would be tending to the grounds, but I can't bring myself to.

Something is wrong, wrong, wrong. _I don't want to work with the flowers_. What is wrong with me?

I really did hurt Alice, and I was so smug about it.

I've been alone for so long, I guess I forgot about others. All the time I spent with the flowers… is time I didn't spend with people. If only I'd done a little more of that, if only I'd been a little more social, I would have known what to do yesterday.

I might even be friends with Alice, like I am with Reimu. What would that bring me to? Three people, if I count Marisa?

For the first time, I question the flowers. Are they a negative influence? A distraction, so I don't have to care about real, actual people?

I've never felt so out of control, so worried. And why? It's just one person.

But I genuinely tried, and failed.

* * *

I'm sitting under the shade of a tree, not really thinking about anything anymore. I'm just looking at the world. I just need some time to myself, and by tomorrow, I'll be fine. I'll be back to my usual self, and I can put yesterday behind me.

The world has other plans, though.

I see a girl in black and white riding a broom land in front of me. It's Marisa, gigantic hat and all.

Well, not really. Her usual big, goofy grin is gone. Her face is somewhere between a frown and a scowl. She looks genuinely angry.

She wastes no time. "What did you say to Alice?"

I don't say anything, just continuing to gaze off, now at the sunflowers.

"Did you hear me? I said, what did you say to Alice?!"

I bring myself to look at her. "I didn't say anything good. I was rude."

"No. _I'm_ rude, and she doesn't get like that with me. She's different today, and said it was you. She's off, and I don't like it. So what did you actually do?"

"...I brought up memories of Makai. Then, when I went to apologize later, I laughed at her for her dolls. And I feel terrible for it."

Marisa sighs. "That's the one thing she hates talking about. Anything else, and she'll act all indifferent. But you bring up Makai? Then she's got a problem."

I look down at the grass beneath me. It flows in the wind, like cherry petals in the spring, the air sweeping through.

"You know why I came here, right? I was thinking I was gonna hafta fight ya. I figured you wouldn't be sorry. But it seems like you are."

A petal from the Garden lands on my dress. Belladonna.

"Even so, I'm not just gonna let it go. Alice is my best friend. You make problems with her, serious problems, and you deal with me too. So, just this once, I'm gonna dispense Alice's justice."

I understand where she's coming from. It doesn't really seem necessary, but it is Marisa's way. I just don't really feel like fighting. But Marisa would at least want me to at least put up a fight, so she can hold it over my head that she won, or brag to others. I have no choice but to humor her.

"Alright, this is for her!"

"Marisa… would you consider me a friend?"

"Wuzzat? Umm… I'd say so, yeah."

"So it's two people. Alright, let's begin, then."

Marisa gives me an odd look before backing up.

"Three cards! Whoever gets hit three times first loses!"

I nod to confirm. Let's get this over with.

* * *

I land on the ground after a short time.

"That was easy! Maybe I'm tougher than ya now!" Marisa has a cocky look on her face. I can't say I blame her. I told myself I would just subtly throw the match, but I got intense anyways. It's better to enjoy yourself than wallow in self-pity, I realize. She clearly felt the same way. She was acting uncharacteristically serious beforehand, but now she has that idiotic smirk on again. The fight really brought us both back to normal, as we both took it seriously.

She still crushed me. I didn't even get a chance to use my second Spell Card; I must be out of practice. But it took my mind off of what I was thinking about before.

"Marisa… thanks for the fight. But I have a request of you. Alice won't want to see me, and she won't listen to me, not anymore; not that I blame her. But she will hear you out. Please, let her know. I really am sorry."

"Alright, alright, I will. Something's up with you today, Yuuka. I feel like the battle was almost invalid 'cause of that, but it was still a great fight. We should square off again!"

I giggle. I really do feel better now. I'm a little upset that I lost, naturally, but in the face of how I felt earlier, I'm brighter than the sun above. I've finally got the motivation to do something. While it's too late to go to the village, I can tend to the flowers.

Of course, I haven't forgotten my thoughts from earlier. I really should spend more time interacting with others, to prevent anything unfortunate from happening again. Using flowers as an excuse to deprive myself of life… I'm doing myself a disservice. I'll start on that new idea tomorrow.

* * *

It's overcast today. Not my ideal conditions, but where there are clouds, there will be rain, and that's good for the Garden.

Even so, I'm going to go to the Village.

This time, though, it's not going to be the flower shop. It'll be different. I'll be approachable. I'll be open. They may not want to speak with me immediately, but I'll show that I'm changing. I just want to try interacting with people.

I make my way into the Village, and as per the usual, the crowds part as they notice who is approaching. I don't want to interrupt their conversations on the street, though, so the best place I can go is probably the village square, or the marketplace. The problem is, I've never had to go to either of those locations, so I'm not entirely sure how to get there.

Oh, well. There's no helping it. I suppose I'll have to ask for directions.

I approach a group of five young men, who are now cornered in a little nook. They're embroiled in an apparently intense discussion of who the loveliest woman in town is; that's what I gather, anyways.

"I'm telling you, man, it's gotta be Keine!"

"Ugh, you and those bookish types, huh, Hinata? Give me a break."

I know I need directions, but I can't help but get in a little teasing.

"Excuse me, gentlemen," I enter the conversation deftly, "where would I fit in on this list?"

They don't recognize my voice immediately, of course; I hardly ever use it on the streets. But as they turn to look at me, they realize who they're dealing with, and stare blankly.

"Well? I asked you all a question."

They look at each other, as if silently debating who would be forced to talk. It was the same "Hinata" that spoke up again.

"Ah, at the very top, of course! ...Where else?"

They look so uncomfortable, I can't help but laugh a little at the tension. They've realized, too late, that I'm intentionally blocking the exit to this little alley, keeping them locked into this conversation.

"Oh, really now? Little old me, the most attractive…? Besides, you said yourself Miss Kamishirasawa was the most attractive woman in the Village! Have you so fickle a heart to change your perceptions on a whim?"

There's an elongated pause as they try to form a coherent answer, which I take as a sign that I should stop teasing them.

"I kid. I really just wanted to ask the directions to the marketplace, is all. I don't ever go to that part of the Village, so I'm not sure how to get there from here, you see."

"Well, um, it'd be a left turn out of this alley, and then then it's straight until a, uhh… left again, at Suzunaan. Keep going straight that way and you'll find yourself there."

"Thank you, sirs. I'll be on my way now. Have a pleasant day!"

I sneak a glance at their dumbfounded faces as I leave the alley. They start looking at each other with a mix of awe and relief, like they all just escaped a life-threatening situation unscathed.

Well, that was enjoyable. Maybe I should interact with people more often after all. It may even be more fun because of my reputation.

I follow the directions I was given and make my way into an area that, sure enough, seems to be a marketplace. It's an opening that's full of little stalls, with vendors exchanging goods for money throughout the place. It's all a little new, but I came here knowing that I'd be doing something uncomfortable.

I look around the area. I don't know many people here in the Village, but if any of them are out and about, they're probably here.

Unfortunately, I don't recognize anyone, but I should have expected as much.

Those who notice me, as always, tend to disperse, unless they have some form of important business to attend to. I never used to mind it, but it's dawning on me that maybe my mere presence shouldn't drive people away.

That's what I want. But I can't just give up my reputation, either. We youkai feed off human fear; it drives us, and ignoring that is tantamount to rejecting what makes us ourselves. I want to have people like me; the events of the past few days has revealed me that urge. However, if that comes to fruition, then the fear people have of me will diminish.

It's a completely unnatural course for a mighty youkai like myself, and everyone who knows anything about me knows I embrace everything related to nature. That's why I can't help this feeling of dread. My heart and my soul tell me that this is something I want, but my mind and its input cannot be so wholly ignored.

For that reason, I just stand in the center of the marketplace, watching the people around me. I'm here to meet them, talk to them, but the conflict within me won't allow action until it is resolved.

I sigh and look up at the monochrome sky above, looking as a craggy cliff with the ominous grey clouds drifting to the east.

The crowd starts to disperse, and not because of me. Now, it's the loud boom of thunder that is the culprit.

I continue to stand silently in the marketplace until there are only a few people around. Rain begins to fall around me, and yet still I stand. As the last one scampers off for shelter, I look up to the sky above and sigh.

"So much for being a social butterfly," I mutter to myself dejectedly. I make my way to the edges of the marketplace, languishing in my sudden regret for my inaction.

I stop when I hear a voice behind me.

"You're an odd visitor, that's for sure."

I turn around to meet a figure in the rain, quite some distance away. I can barely hear their voice over the pattering of rain on the road beneath me. However, as I get a better look at their face, I can tell it's one I've seen in passing before, usually hidden away among the shadows.

They have a distinct red hue to their hair, and wear a similarly colored capelet that obscures their entire neck and mouth with its collar.

"I've seen you before, and I'm sure you've seen me, even if you don't recall. Everyone in the village has at least heard of you. Yuuka Kazami, the Flower Master of Four Seasons, terrifying and cold, perhaps even sadistic."

"Who are you, human?"

"Ohoho, so forward! I heard you mumbling something just now about 'being a social butterfly'. If you really want to make yourself more like that, you'll want to drop the cold disposition."

This person isn't scared of me? Or perhaps they are masking it. But why would they strike up conversation in the first place, then?

"Let me tell you something. If you really want to be more outgoing, you're going to have to change who you are as a person. I'm speaking from experience here - I've been in your shoes. I may not be an all-powerful youkai like you are, but I've been there. A recluse, who finds themselves with a desire to integrate with society to some higher extent. You want to know how that ended? I've returned to the way I've always been, because I couldn't bring myself to wholly alter my persona, my entire character. It's much easier to blend in, as far as I'm concerned."

"That isn't an option for me. I already have such a reputation that I will stick out, one way or another."

"So you do. My point still stands, though. I tried to make my presence more known, in many respects, but I couldn't do it. It is simply the opposite for you; you want to stand out less, am I right?"

"Well, you could put it that way, I suppose."

"Then you have to change your personality, your perspective, your whole being. It'll be daunting for you if you decide to continue, and it was too much for me. Call me cynical - I might call myself that, honestly - but I think it takes someone really special to do that sort of thing. And to be frank, from what I've heard about you, I don't think you've got what it takes either."

I grip my parasol tighter. Who is this human girl, to presume to know anything about me?

"Oh, really? Watch me. I'll do what you apparently couldn't."

The red-haired girl laughs in response. "Alright, alright, you're stubborn. That'll help, at least."

Odd, but I don't dwell on it. I face the path I took on the way here again and call out after the girl I now am turned away from.

"I never did get your name."

There's a pause before I get a response. "I guess it's only fair to tell, isn't it? Which is why I won't. I don't really believe in fairness, after all. If that sort of justice really existed, I wouldn't have to pretend I was human, after all. Farewell, Yuuka Kazami."

Not human? ...I suppose it makes sense, she wasn't very scared of me. Was she a youkai? A ghost? Perhaps even a god? It's hard to tell, she does a good job obscuring it.

Regardless of species, I mull over the words of the girl in my head. She takes the stance of my mind, back in the square. Is it really worth it?

My heart wants me to believe so.

I want to listen to the logic in my mind, but sometimes, I start to think, you just have to have faith in your heart.

I have come to a final decision, now. There will be no faltering, now. I will have faith in myself, now.

Now is the beginning of the future, a future that I will make distinct from the past. It will be a place I want to be at. That future will be one where I am not something to hide from, and I will make it so.


	4. Chapter 4: Odd People

The ground is still wet from yesterday's storm.

While it's stopped raining, the Village is unusually empty. There aren't as many people around as there were yesterday. It must be the moisture putting a damper on peoples' moods and making them sluggish.

Yesterday, I walked to the marketplace to see if I could strike up conversation with anyone. But, I realized last night after returning to the Garden that probably wasn't a good place to start. It's almost too busy there, and the people present were doubtlessly involved in their own matters and wouldn't have talked to anyone, human or youkai.

I tried to think about less sparsely visited places, planning for what I would be doing today. And, as I looked at my colorful meadows last night, it hit me.

I have heard from Reimu of a normal human girl getting along with the youkai that like to visit the Shrine. She seems to be just a teenager, and while she apparently does exhibit traces of concern or fear around youkai, she is largely rather pleasant.

I remember seeing her one time myself, in passing only - she had red hair adorned with bells and eyes that sparkled with curiosity.

She is one Kosuzu Motoori. Reimu described her offhandedly during one of my visits, mentioning what she looked like, her personality - and where she worked, the book shop, Suzunaan.

The directions I obtained yesterday bring me past Suzunaan, so it is all the more convenient for me to use Kosuzu as a way to be friendlier with people.

Stopping in front of it now, I survey the location.

Honestly, compared to some other places in the Village, like the flower shop, Suzunaan is rather uninviting. The name of the place is written in large writing on three wooden blocks over the entryway, one block for each character, but the third block is crooked, giving the impression that the store isn't being kept in pristine condition.

I take a deep breath before entering the store.

I walk into a cozy little room and collapse my parasol. Sitting at a desk in the back-middle of the room is the girl I've been looking for, Kosuzu. She's reading a book, and upon hearing my footsteps, looks up.

"Welcome to Suzunaan! ...Yuuka Kazami, right?"

Hmm. She doesn't seem to show much aversion to me. Maybe I was right in coming here.

"That's right."

"I thought I recognized you. So, what can I get for you? Something on flowers, I assume? ...Or, you know, the youma books."

Youma books? This human is holding books infused with youkai power in her shop? I suppose that explains the things I've heard about her; she is clearly not at all ill-disposed to youkai.

"Ah, no. I'm not against reading per se, but it's not what I'm here for today."

"Oh, okay. So, will it be the printing service, then?"

"Not that either. Awkward as it may sound, I just want to talk."

She looks a little unsettled by this, but I decide to ignore it. Why shouldn't she be? What would I want with her in particular, if not to buy anything? She must be thinking of ways to get herself out of this situation right now, just like I'm trying hard to think of conversation topics.

"So… what are you reading there?"

She's again thrown off. Something so mundane was not what she expected me to want to talk about.

"Um, this? ...I'm rereading one of Agatha Chris Q's mystery novels. Have you heard of them?"

"I can't say I have," I respond coolly, "I'm more fond of nonfiction myself, when I do read. For instance, I own a very large botanical encyclopedia, one of my favorite non-flower possessions."

"Do you? I have a series of scientific journals on plant life, imported from the outside world…"

I make no effort to hide my enthusiasm. "Really? Can you show me? My encyclopedia is pretty outdated, after all!"

Kosuzu, clearly more comfortable now, gets out of her chair and beckons me to a shelf full of books. After a quick glance, she points to one and pulls it out of the shelf.

"Here we are!"

I flip through the book, which is less comprised of pictures than I thought, when I hear someone else walk into the store. Kosuzu notices as well.

I look up to see a bespectacled woman with long mahogany hair, a checkered scarf, and multiple layers of intricate clothes. She appears to be human, from what I can tell, and Kosuzu doesn't seem to have any reservations when she speaks to her.

But something feels off.

"Ah, welcome back!" Kosuzu calls out with a chipper tone.

The woman smirks. "I'm returning the book I'd borrowed; very informative, it was."

"Alright, thank you," Kosuzu says, taking the book off of her hands.

"I'll take a look at your special stock, if that's alright?"

"Of course."

The redhead shopkeeper writes something down and returns to me, while the mystery customer goes to a shelf tucked away in the back corner of the shop.

"What was that about? 'Special stock'?" I ask, curious.

"Well, you see, those are the youma books, typically written and used by youkai. ...Not that that stops humans from purchasing them, if they're trustworthy. I myself have an interest in them, and I know a few others."

"Is that woman a human? Or a youkai?" I ask in a hushed voice.

"...I can't disclose any information about customers."

If that's not suspicious, I don't know what is, but I decide not to keep pressing Kosuzu on the woman's identity.

"I understand. But, if I may…?"

She seems to catch my meaning, and leads me over to the very same section the other woman is at.

"I'll take it from here, and you can have this back." I hand the plant journal back to the shopkeeper. "I'm just browsing now, so if anything piques my interest, I'll come to you to ask about it."

She slowly nods and returns to her desk.

I turn to the other customer. Before I get a chance to speak, though, she starts talking while still glancing over the shelves.

"Not every day that _you_ come in here," she says back to me with a mischievous tone.

Her mannerisms suggest nonchalance, but the way she's talking just reeks of hostility.

"Well," she continues while picking out a scroll, "I don't know what you're playing at. You never seemed one for people. Can't guess what you're looking to do now."

She turns to me with a knowing smirk. "But don't try anything. I can tell you want to get familiar with the villagers, but let me warn you. You are in for a nasty surprise, if you think you can just take what's _mine_."

Definitely a youkai, then, and a confident one at that. I'm not sure if she has the power to back it up, but my best guess is _yes, she does_. We youkai are perhaps prideful by nature, but we do know our limits. The weaker ones don't tend to interact with, much less try to intimidate, strong youkai like myself. That would be hazardous to their health and the height of idiocy.

This one's no idiot. She has to have the strength to support her claims.

"Then there shouldn't be any issues." I speak calmly with a slight hint of humor, as if ignoring the obvious threat. "I have no intentions of theft."

She smiles almost warmly. "That's good to hear. Now, if you'll excuse me."

Making her way past me, the woman shows the scroll to Kosuzu and hands her a sum of money before looking back, smirking, and leaving.

I sigh and also walk over to Kosuzu.

"Who's that?"

Kosuzu looks at me inquisitively. "A… recurring customer. She's been coming through here for quite a while."

"She's a youkai. You know that, right?"

She nods cheerily. "Doesn't make too much of a difference whether she is or not, as long as she treats me the way she always has. But yes, I'm aware."

Interesting. I was aware this girl treated youkai like humans, but she is really something else. Not only does she house a fairly large collection of youma books, she is unequivocally friendly towards us despite the attitudes of the humans around her. It's honestly rather impressive for a villager.

I decide I'll just stick around in here and talk about whatever comes to mind for awhile, since she seems comfortable enough.

* * *

After a fairly long conversation, I say it's time for me to go back to my garden.

I give my farewells to Kosuzu and leisurely leave Suzunaan, making my way through the streets of the village.

I can't help but have a stupid, idiotic smile on my face. I really did it! I think I made a friend in the village!

I can't remember the last time I felt this way. A real, legitimate smile, not one of the grimaces of satisfaction at the fear I inspired. True happiness.

"So you went and did it, huh? Or at least you made a start."

It was the voice from yesterday, that doubter that stopped me.

"Your expression gives it away. I thought you might not be able to pull it off, and yet here you are. You look like the village idiot, that's how sickeningly happy your smile is."

I look at the direction the voice is coming from - a small alley - and see a smile on the face of the girl within.

"Honestly, it's infectious. Looks like you gave it your best go and it worked out. I've gotta say, I'm happy for you, despite what I said yesterday. Actually, what I said yesterday is why I'm like this now."

I giggle. "Well, that's good to hear."

"...I'm Sekibanki. There, that's your reward."

"Ah, Sekibanki… nice name."

"Really? That's the best you can come up with?" She cracks a smile again.

"I don't know much about you."

"Hey, you already got something from me. You're not getting anything else."

I think about our conversation from yesterday, trying to glean any information about her from my memories. Finally, I remember something of interest.

"...You aren't human. So why pretend to be? Just to live in the village?"

"Quiet," she hisses, "it's a secret for a reason! ...But yes, it's so I can live among the humans. I'm just not a very youkai-like youkai, as it were. Even so, I'd get driven off if word got out. I nearly slipped up a few incidents ago, and I don't wish to repeat that experience."

"Well, people will get suspicious if they see you here, talking with me, won't they? So, shouldn't we…?"

She grunts in admission. "Yeah, guess you want me gone that badly, huh?"

"That's not what I meant at all!" I protest.

She rolls her eyes. "Ever heard of sarcasm? If you really do want to keep talking, I guess we could meet outside the village. I wouldn't be opposed to it, anyways. I'm actually kind of curious what went right for you."

"Fine by me. Just come by the garden later, and I'll find you. Fair warning, though - be ready to dodge some danmaku if I mistake you for a fairy or some other intruder."

* * *

It's almost evening and yet Sekibanki still has not shown up.

I decide to turn in for the night. She probably forgot or just had some other event hold her up, and it's not worth standing around waiting for her this late.

I take one last look out over the fields of flowers, illuminated by the orange glow of the sunset.

It is fruitless, though. There is no trace of the red-haired girl.

With a sigh, I turn around and walk away, when I feel my foot graze something lying on the ground. It's hard to see, as it is lying in the shadow, but it looks roughly rounded.

I kneel on the grass to get a better look at the mystery object. Focusing my eyes to the darkness of the shadows, I see…

A decapitated head?!

Wait. It's Sekibanki!

I'm not afraid - nothing really makes me scared anymore. I'm just terribly unsettled by what my eyes are showing me. My face contorts into a display of something like disturbed awe.

Then the head starts laughing and lifts itself out of my hands.

It floats onto a body - Sekibanki's body - that emerges from behind a tree, still in a hysterical laughing fit.

"What is the meaning of this?" I holler at Sekibanki's now attached head and body.

It manages to get out the words, "I-it's me!" between snickers.

Finally, Sekibanki calms down and produces a full sentence. "It's me, I just detached my head. I am a rokurokubi, really, so that's just one of my abilities."

I can only imagine that confusion must be written all over me.

"It's been forever since I've gotten to play that trick. You should have seen the look on your face!"

I'm not nearly as amused by these antics as the perpetrator is. I catch the glistening of a tear on her face in the light of the sunset. She must have been having such a grand time with her prank that she started crying from laughing too hard.

"I've also been waiting here for forever. What took you so long?"

She smirks. "I needed to wait for sunset, when the shadows are long, to get the intended effect. Of course, the only reason I was able to do that in the first place is because we're far away from the village."

"Alright, I concede. Now, didn't you want to talk about my day?"

Sekibanki nods. "I want to see what got you looking like a fairy with candy."

"It's probably not as entert - fairy? I'm insulted!"

Sekibanki smirks again. "Please, let's move on. I don't want to see you… lose your head!"

I subdue my annoyance at the rokurokubi's wit and start recounting the events at Suzunaan.

* * *

"And what of you? You came off as rather aloof before," I ask, wondering about why Sekibanki is suddenly so friendly with me.

"Are you saying you weren't aloof either? ...Well, I was curious what you were going to do after our first conversation. So, I made a point of watching what you were doing. Like I said, your mood was honestly just infectious."

"That's unlike you, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I tend to keep my cool, when I can. Unless," she remarks with a grunt, "I start to feel comfortable with someone."

"So it's just an act, your personality?"

"No, that's not it, it's completely natural. It's more like I just get… cozy, I guess? It's not like my personality is just based on a mask I'm wearing and switch around. Unlike someone I know."

"And you're 'cozy' now, I take it."

"You could say that. You're surprisingly decent at being friendly. Better than I gave you credit for, anyway."

I shrug, looking at the moon, surrounded by the stars. "I try to treat people as they treat me. I guess it just took finding the right people."

Sekibanki chuckled. "You're going to be getting a lot less respect in the village, you know. Even if you are being friendly. Hanging around with that Kosuzu girl and myself? Everyone in the village treats us like oddballs, which I suppose we are. But don't you think you're falling in with the wrong crowd?"

Sekibanki has an odd sense of humor, I've noticed in the little comments she made on my story and her speech in general. She tends to tease or make fun of people, not unlike me, but whereas I just make them slightly uncomfortable, she seems to revel in putting other people down. She also liberally uses sarcasm, so much so that I can't tell if she actually believes what she's saying sometimes.

I'm starting to catch on, though, so I take it in stride and just respond as I imagine she would. "Yes, a crowd of deviants. That's where I fit best though, don't you think? With the other outcasts and odd people?"

Just as I thought, she laughs. "You're right. A bunch of good-for-nothings that everyone hates. That's us."

"I'm worth more than nothing! I'm much stronger than you are, for one. And nicer, too."

We continue talking, and I realize that today has been a good day. I've made not one but two new friends from the Village. Has it always been this easy, and I've never realized?

Or perhaps it was that I never wanted to know people. Did I hate them, just as I told myself that they hate me?

I think I did.

But no longer. Now, I've the drive to be better, and with recent events, the experience to boot. If tomorrow is even half as good as today, well, who knows? I might not even be making enough time for my flowers, soon enough.


	5. Chapter 5: Introspection

I'm still feeling happy. The high I got from meeting new people still lingers in my mind, so I decide to go to the village once again. This time, I've settled on just walking from shop to shop without any particular goal.

But first, it is important for me to tend to the Garden. Today it teems with fairies, and I don't know why. What an annoyance.

At least it's target practice.

Let's see… the usual offenders. An assortment of fairies are playing nicely enough, but it's the trio of fairies and their friend Crino, the fool ice fairy. As usual, the three are egging the fairy on as she freezes flowers.

I suppose there's nothing for me to do but disperse them.

I slowly fly over to the vicinity of the quartet and fire a few small magical bolts around them. However, they're too wrapped up in their shenanigans to notice, so it looks like I'll have to be a bit more forceful.

"You four fairies! Leave at once!" I call out to them.

Cirno sticks out her tongue in defiance upon hearing my request and continues freezing the flowers. The other three glance between themselves and then try to tug Cirno along with them in an attempt to flee, but when they do, she shakes free and stubbornly continues to freeze flowers at a faster pace.

Such simple-minded and arrogant creatures who care for nothing but their own personal enjoyment of something. They are beneath me, which is why I strike them without a second thought.

And so, I sigh and collapse my parasol. I then point the end of it at the ice fairy, ready to release a high-accuracy beam right at her.

But I don't.

...I'm stuck in thought. Are fairies really beneath me?

It sounds like an easily-answered question. _Of course they are, their minds are too simple to be on the level of any human or youkai. You're better than them, and purely because of mental capacity. There are more reasons, of course, but that's the major one._

But did I not consider everything beneath me, up until a few days ago…? I drove anyone and everyone off from the Garden, after all. But now, I don't treat people that way; not anymore, I don't.

So what sets fairies apart? Should I not also attempt to be friendlier with them?

They are spirits, embodiments of different aspects of nature itself. If I claim to love nature, why do I hate fairies?

Such is my thought process.

All the while, Cirno has moved to another batch of blossoms. The other three are nowhere to be seen.

Again, I sigh, and fire the beam, knocking Cirno out of the air in a blinding flash of light.

What kind of thinking was _that_? Humans and youkai are… different from them. Fairies, I'm better than in every conceivable way, and from time to time, I have to remind them of that. It's simply the price they pay for their disrespect. If nothing else, she was bringing harm to my flowers.

I survey the damage the frost has wrought. Why was I indecisive? I spent time that could have been spent protecting what's important to me on a stupid philosophical question of the standing of these little fools.

Their standing is evident. Ask any Gensokyan and they'll tell you - outside of plants and animals, fairies are the basest living beings.

I must be getting soft if I think fairies are worth my time. There's being kind and friendly, and then there's naivety.

With the troublemakers settled, I go to the more mundane parts of nurturing my Garden.

* * *

Parasol in hand, I walk through the Village, trying my luck at socializing with passerby.

Nothing is working, though. The people just shrink when I attempt to talk with them. When I do manage to start a conversation, they end it. I've tried various topics and methods - small talk about the weather, asking them about themselves, anything.

I've sacrificed a lot of my dignity to do this. I've even - and I shudder to think of it - started trying to actually _compliment_ people in an attempt to get them to talk with me. But when I do that, they just tend to nervously laugh and and give a halfhearted, disbelieving expression of thanks before falling utterly silent.

It's painfully, painfully awkward.

My nature as a youkai itself is probably driving people away. And that's something about myself that I can't change. Ultimately, it seems I'm just not meant to associate with the common townsperson.

But it's okay, if I just have what I've got now. There's Kosuzu, and Sekibanki, and Marisa, and Reimu, and…

That's it.

For my effort, two more people like me. The whole village still hates me…

And so does Alice. Incredibly so.

That's what brought me to this in the first place, wasn't it? To be a better person, to be a more social person. Because I hurt someone personally, because of something I did in the past when I was less caring of my actions' consequences.

And the nail in the coffin, just days ago, when I went to her house.

Somewhere in my mind, I wonder about it. How can I make it up to her? What would that take?

I decide it's a thought for another time, though.

* * *

With no luck today in the Village, but still feeling the drive to go somewhere and speak with someone, I decide to visit the Shrine once again.

Walking up the familiar steps, I hear a woman, but not Reimu, speaking.

"Who knows what she's up to with Suzunaan? Someone like her doesn't just 'try to make friends' on a whim!"

Sensing some sort of drama and wanting to see what it entails, I creep into the trees enclosing the Shrine's grounds and watch whatever is going on unfold.

The woman I met from the bookstore appears to be trying to get Reimu to do something, but the shrine maiden looks very relaxed. It's almost as if she is ignoring the other woman.

"Nothing? You're going to do nothing about it?"

Reimu makes an exasperated expression and waves off the request. "I'm not really concerned. You've been making plays with Kosuzu too, don't think I haven't noticed. You don't see me exterminating you, Mamizou."

"You know how I am, though, Reimu. I'd never do a thing to hurt a villager. And you and I can agree on this: Yuuka Kazami is not like me. She hates humans. It's not like I haven't heard the stories, from incidents past."

Reimu, now agitated, faces away from Mamizou. "My policy is to assume good intentions until someone actually does something wrong. Will I keep an eye on it? Yeah, sure. But you can bet I'm not going to go fight her for… you know. What basically amounts to her changing her routine."

Mamizou gives a deep sigh. "Fine. I can see you won't do anything, so don't come crying to little old me when villagers start turning up dead."

The tanuki turns away from the shrine maiden, proceeding towards the stairs that serve as the exit to the shrine, muttering under her breath. I can't make it out, but she is not pleased. Turning back, she makes sure Reimu has gone back in the shrine itself before making a slight hand motion.

At her signal, a multitude of tanuki appearing in their normal, raccoon-like form rush up to her feet without making the slightest sound. She leans in, whispers something to the whole lot of them, and then dismisses them all with another flick of her wrist.

Looking satisfied, and dropping her angry face in an instant - making it clear it was just an act - Mamizou walks away.

She was definitely talking about me, and she wants to get rid of me. Somehow, my being more interactive with the village seems to be intimidating her, and so she tried to get Reimu to stop me.

But what problem does she have with a youkai being in the village and talking to people? Clearly she was on good terms with Kosuzu, and it wouldn't surprise me if she had other contacts.

"I know you're in there."

It's Reimu, back out of the shrine, and I didn't notice.

"And you probably heard that whole conversation, didn't you?"

I tentatively nod in affirmation.

"Haha. You have nothing to worry about. I don't suspect you of anything. I'm actually more concerned with what Mamizou is plotting, because she never turns to me for help. She'd much rather play petty pranks involving my donation box."

"Well, that's good to hear."

"Anyways, I've got plans for today. I'm heading out to the village to do some shopping, so I can't stay and chat."

Reimu, without saying anything else, walks off.

There goes the other idea I had for doing today. Reimu obviously can't be seen with me in the village, it would make her lose any last shreds of her reputation.

* * *

With nothing doing today, I decide to just spend the rest of the day thinking in the Garden.

I can't help but turn my thoughts to Alice.

Eventually, I will have to speak to her. It just feels wrong to have someone so thoroughly hate me like that.

Back then, when I first met her… it was a different time, in Gensokyo. People did not concern themselves with others, and interactions often turned to hostility. Not like the mock fights of today - actual battles where more than pride was on the line.

I was a different person, almost. More aggressive, more freewheeling. Back then, I went out of my way to intimidate people, a real terror. When in a fight, I was vicious. In one instance, it resulted in the destruction of Makai, as I recall it. With that goddess… Shinki, I believe?

Alice had some personal attachment to her. She mentioned another name, as well - Yumeko?

Either way, when I dueled Shinki, we brought ruin to Makai. While not much leaves an impression on my memory now - being around for over a thousand years, you figure out how to ignore the useless information - that fight remains sharp in my mind. It was relatively recent, compared to other things, but I have a feeling I will never forget it, as long as I live.

I was fascinated. The sight of an entire realm, caught in a storm of flames and destruction. It was incredible to me, then. There was a certain beauty in the inferno. Not nearly as splendorous as my Garden, of course, but in some ways the fires reminded me of flowers. The arms of the blaze, reaching the sky, dissolved into smaller and smaller little sparks of flame. It reminded me of the petals of a cherry blossom lazily floating to the ground in spring, but this was the reverse, as they drifted upwards.

I was transfixed by the destruction. It seems odd, on reflection, that I so loved collapse, when my power is one that is inherently for creation. Perhaps it is because the sight of life returning to a land of death is the most magnificent sight to behold, and so some ruination is necessary. At least, that could be what I thought.

I am still awed by it, even now, but for another reason. I have come to realize how utterly pointless it was.

That day was marked by anguish. While I was mostly oblivious to this at first, I was made aware of it when Alice came back for a second fight.

The first round was pitifully one-sided. After all, she was clearly just a novice, but even then I sensed potential in her. Not that I ever told her. When she came back, she wasn't altogether much stronger herself. Rather, she had brought a grimoire, and claimed it was full of the "ultimate magic".

Yes, it was more challenging, but even the strongest magic is still weak if the caster is not in complete control of it, and she clearly was not.

Now that she's had several more years of time to practice, it would be interesting to see what she is capable of now. I know she still carries it around.

Actually, giving it more thought, the power of that book is incredible. If it so amplified her fighting prowess then… it may do more than pose a threat to me, now. That would likely give _her_ an edge in a hypothetical battle where she used it, considering that I have not been active in incidents recently and am out of practice. After all, my strength is not in strategy. I am more the type to exert my will over my opponents, to beat them down with raw firepower, which I am nearly unrivaled in. But if something like that would be capable of giving her the advantage over _me_?

There wouldn't be many people who could stop her.

I have a feeling that if Alice were to actually use that grimoire, she wouldn't be abiding by the spell card rules. Perhaps Reimu, or that Eiki who so rudely fought me some time ago, could stand a chance. I don't really have a complete grasp of the latter's strength outside of spell cards. I know Marisa wouldn't last long, despite her boasts. She does well in the play fights, but her strongest attack is but an imitation of my own. She is not an incredibly strong magician, just able to think fast, I think. The only person I can think of who would definitely be able to win is that Yukari, but she is nigh invincible, even to someone like me. Her strength and wisdom is truly immeasurable, even if she is insufferable.

I also have the impression that it is a last resort of last resorts, though. So if I crossed paths with her again, she almost certainly would not bring it out… probably.

...I should try to meet with her again, and make amends. That's what I tried just a few days ago, and that failed spectacularly. But with more experience under my belt, I've the belief that it would not go as rapidly downhill. But that, perhaps, is something for tomorrow.

"Well, you look glum."

I locate the direction of the sound immediately, right behind me, and whip my parasol around to point it at them threateningly.

It comes to a halt exactly at the heart of the intruder, ready to impale it if they so much as move. It's a defense mechanism I've picked up over the years, but use sparingly, as most people are smart enough to avoid the Garden.

"Oho… you'd think you'd give a 'friend' a warmer welcome."

...It's Sekibanki.

I quickly withdraw it, noticing that she was staring unflinchingly at the point of it. If I focus hard enough, I think I can hear her heartbeat going faster than a tengu.

"Well, now that I'm not about to be _murdered_ , I have something to ask you. Or, rather, a suggestion."

"Ah. What would it be? ...Sorry about that, by the way."

"Hah! I've been on the receiving end of an armory's worth of knives before. I mean, I'd rather not die, y'know, but I don't get all worked up about it.

"So, about the suggestion. I know you've your desire to make more friends, so I decided to go ahead and contact a few people I go way back with. If you're alright with it, I'd like to introduce them to you tomorrow."

I don't know what other sorts Sekibanki associates with, but I'm curious. "Certainly. I have nothing else…"

Oh, wait. I was going to try again with Alice.

I can't tell what her facial expression is; unlike yesterday, where she pulled down her capelet's collar so I could see her whole face, it today obscures her mouth.

However, I can guess at her emotion from her response. "Good! I'm meeting up with them all tomorrow at the Road of Liminality, so if you'd meet us there…"

"The Road of Liminality? You're going to make me go all the way out there?"

She laughs softly, to herself. "Implying that coming here isn't a bit of a hike either."

"It sounds like you need a little more activity in your life; this is nothing. I make the trip very often."

She doesn't retort, surprisingly. "Hmph. See you tomorrow, then. Good night."

She turns around to walk away, but suddenly stops.

"Almost forgot. They don't actually know I've invited you; they just think it's a meeting for old time's sake. So… keep that in mind."

With that, the rokurokubi leaves.

"What a fool…" I mutter to myself, ready to turn in for the night.

Tomorrow will be… interesting, for certain. There's an opportunity to make new friends, but there's also still the possibility of going to Alice, if there is time.

Incredible, what a few days can change about someone.

* * *

 _Yo. It's the author._

 _I'm going to start doing the "writer's notes" thing, or whatever. You know what I mean. So I'll just go over the first five chapters here._

 _My inspiration for this story was basically: "Yuuka in fanon is often portrayed as sadistic and maniacal. How about… she's that, but starts wanting to change?"_

 _I decided that the best way to go about this would be Yuuka realizing how the way she always acted was wrong. How her Garden kept her isolated from interaction with anyone else, and unfeeling, because it brought her happiness._

 _Hence, the title: The Primrose Path - an idiom referring to how a life of pleasure can result in problems down the line. I'd say it fits pretty aptly. Especially with the flower pun, which was a must._

 _It *ahem*_ blossomed _into a story about how Yuuka tries to makes friends after this realization. As for choosing who those friends would be… I don't have a method to it. It just sort of happened, in planning. Some pieces of the puzzle just came together, so to speak._

 _Of course, she won't get along with everyone. She has two clear opposing forces so far: Alice, who hates her, and Mamizou, who is just...being sketchy. You'll just have to wait and see where those go._

 _That out of the way, I'd like to just respond to some reviews. Figured some author-reader interaction can't hurt._

great fan of sayu mayu project: _That's what I was aiming for. Glad to hear that's the effect it had on you._

Acerman: _Hmm, a fight between Mamizou and Yuuka. Would be interesting. It probably wouldn't be described in great detail in this story were it to happen; that's not what it's about (and I think I'm pretty bad at action scenes). There may be some sort of confrontation between them, though. Who knows? Mamizou, while a capable fighter, prefers using words and manipulation to get what she wants._

Lukap99: _Yuuka is pretty new to the whole "socializing" concept. It's fun to see how in new situations, her intimidating persona dissolves and she's completely genuine. It's great to write, I'll tell ya that. We might be seeing a little bit more of that next chapter, perhaps?_


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